something that i think about often is what i want my internet presence to be, and how i want to come off to others when they first meet me. first impressions matter.

creating a neocities and having a "journal" of sorts where i put down my thoughts means that is more important than ever. while it's not like my thoughts are being broadcasted to the entire world, there are still chances that people will go beyond the shallow and take the time to read these.

in a world where our lives are filled with multiple social media apps where discourse and spreading anger is the norm, having a small space like this to myself is a little strange. i won't be waiting for the next "gotcha" post to be made, not someone questioning the legitimacy of my identity as a queer individual, not even hateful posts that are made purely for entertainment.

though that isn't a bad thing. i like being able to type my thoughts here, especially in a longer form, that is reserved solely for the eyes of the curious and people just beyond the veil of loud social media apps. the more i think about cultivating my online identity, i think about what exactly it is that i want to share...

my characters are the first things to come to mind. ira malivahn, (a character and a persona) manu sagote, (my excuse to draw big meatheads with less than the average amount of braincells) morrigan from the igras, (an exploration into other cultures and cultural displacement) oisín ronan, (what it means to be human) and soon, hopefully, another with whom i have no name for yet.

my second idea is obviously my life. not much happens in it, though i am a bit excited as my cousin just gave birth to her first son. i can't imagine that april fools is the best day to have a birthday, as i can only imagine the amount of pranks that'd be pulled, but he might just have to deal with it.

thirdly returns back to the aspects of characters, but characters within media that aren't my own originals. i really enjoyed doing character studies back then, making these elaborate carrd profiles for them and setting them up for roleplay servers. this just solidifies that i wish i made this a longer time ago, back when i was into cookie run. i would have gone nuts making a character study entry on wind archer or fire spirit.

i think this all rounds back on the want to be seen as someone who's introspective and likes to do a lot of writing. exploring neocities has been a lot of fun, seeing how people express themselves and the way they present themselves to others. when i get this website more developed, i think i'd really like to grow out of my shell and have the guts to ask someone to trade buttons.

on that note, there were a lot of neocities that i looked at for inspiration or general motivation when first creating this website. though they aren't limited to this list, here are the ones currently open:

seeing such a large variety of creatives is always inspiring. seeing how long they all have taken care of their websites really makes me want to continue this effort with the intent of longevity—a legacy that i'd like to leave behind for anyone who ends up finding this place.

on that note, i really hope i do find the courage to join more cliques or ask to trade buttons with people. depsite being born in the prime age when these websites would have taken off, i'm not very familair with neocities culture or how it operates. on the very off-chance that someone manages to read this far, i'd appreciate someone reaching out to teach me the ins-and-outs.

for the time being, i've managed to have the guts to try and apply for everbloom, whose floral themes and intents or growing a beautiful garden of dedication aligns with what i'd like for my website. having submitted makes me nervous!!! is it possible to get rejected from cliques? who knows. i'll hopefully be finding out in a few weeks here.

that being said, the next clique i'd like to join is AROMATiC, which seems to be another staple web clique that people join often. i've tried to think of my aroma for this website—everbloom was relatively easy, seeing as anemones are "wind flowers," though aromas are a little bit harder. i'd like to think it'd be something like oakmoss.

anyways, i believe i've written enough for now. this entry covered a lot, all of which i hope to return to in their own capacities and depth when i have the time.